致命的大錯(cuò)
   
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." 
   
"Qualifications: No education or experience." 
   

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." 
   
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age." 
   
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." 
   
"Fired because I fought for lower pay." 
   
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" . 
   
"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." 
   
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." 
   
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately." 
   

   
打字錯(cuò)誤與語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤 
   
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." 
   
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." 
   
"I am a rabid typist." 
   
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981." 
   
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work." 
   
"Accounting cleric." 
   
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." 
   
"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments." 
   
"Suspected to graduate early next year." 
   
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." 
   
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors." 
   
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." 
   
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." 
   
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school." 
   

   
不應(yīng)有的幽默 
   
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house." 
   
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) 
   
"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature." 
   
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 
   
"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company i